am I the only person who says ‘ow’ in surprise even if what happened didn’t remotely hurt me
my mom heard the beginning of same love by macklemore and she looked at me and said “when you were 4 you sat in your room and cried for hours and when i asked you what was wrong you said “mom i think i’m black”
got all my back to school supplies
Game of Thrones + Costume Porn
babies cry all the time but theyre not even the ones who have to go to work
never forget this iconic moment in history
always give your puppy 3000000000 kisses a day
even when they’re not puppies anymore and they’re old and grey and cant get out of bed so easy on cold mornings and they forget some things give them 3000000000 extra kisses so they remember you love them
Student: can I please use the bathroom?
Teachers: why are you taking your bag?
This happened in my English class one time and the girl who was going picked up her bag as she got up and the male teacher just said “Put your bag down and go to the bathroom.” and without any hesitation she just said, “I need something in it there is blood coming out of my vagina.” He never made girls leave their bags again.
bisexual people aren’t more likely to cheat in relationships but we are more likely to cheat at cards, while lesbians are most likely to cheat at jenga, and genderqueer people often cheat at mario kart
how the fuck do you cheat at jenga
ask a lesbian
“Mom used to tell me when she tucked me in that angels were watching over us”.